By Jacqui Tomlins, Melbourne-based marriage equality campaigner. Follow her blog here.
I once had a creative writing teacher who said that writing a book was a long, slow process and that you needed to celebrate the small victories and milestones along the way; finishing your plot outline, drafting the first chapter, getting a letter from a potential publisher.
I think the same applies to campaigning for social change and legal reform. It doesn’t happen overnight, there will be setbacks along the way, and some days it can seem like you’re not making much progress. And then you have a month like we’ve just had where things really seem to go your way and for a moment you sense that victory really will be yours.
In the last few weeks Team Marriage Equality has kicked some goals. The first resulted from great team work and perseverance; the second was a poorly judged own goal by the opposition, and the third…well the third was just a gift.
Senate Inquiry – One nil to us
First up, a huge thank-you to everyone who sent a submission to the Senate Inquiry into the Marriage Equality Amendment Bill. The inquiry received a staggering 45,000 submissions in support of the bill. This is by far the largest number ever received for any inquiry and means that the proposed changes to the Marriage Act are the most supported in the nation’s history. I think that is truly remarkable.
What struck me about the submissions was the incredible range of people for whom this is now an important issue, and not just gay people. I loved the story of Elaine, a middle-aged, straight, Christian woman who grew up in the north east of England with a Polish father and a surname that was different from the other kids. This experience taught her what it was like to look and feel the same as everyone else, but to be treated differently, to be taunted and bullied. Now, she wants to do everything she can to make sure her many gay friends are treated equally and with respect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGm20AelDsg&feature=channel&list=UL
Sarah – straight and married herself – spoke on behalf of marriage celebrants, passionately articulating the arguments in favour of change. What made me laugh about her submission was that while she sees this issue as one of fundamental human rights she also didn’t want to ignore ‘the business aspects’. Same-sex marriages would provide new work, encourage young people to join the profession, and keep the industry thriving. You’ve got to love that!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7awKiK1mVrk&feature=relmfu
Michael and Brendan from small town NSW challenged lots of the myths about gay marriage and why it’s important. Two ‘country blokes’ who said they ‘have a country wedding ready to go!’ Michael and Brendan keep border collies, have a yard full of chooks and spend their evenings hanging out at the local RSL. They want the law to change soon so that Michael’s 78 year old Mum can walk her son down the aisle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8TbJR35gFs&feature=relmfu
But perhaps the most powerful of these submissions for me – I suppose because I’m a parent – came from a fifteen year old girl called Brenna who has two mums. Brenna talked about her experience of growing up with lesbian mums, about her anger and anguish that they are treated so unfairly. She just didn’t understand, she said, why her government would be so homophobic and treat so many people – like her parents – unfairly. How can it be right, she asked, that in a few years’ time she’ll be legally able to marry, but her mums won’t? Brenna’s submission is thoughtful and articulate and very moving and I really hope a few of the people who have the power to bring about change watched this clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MskhaQi_diY
The Archbishops’ letter – Two nil to us
Then, in the last week before the inquiry closed six Catholic Archbishops signed a letter that was distributed to 80,000 parishioners throughout the country urging them to ‘reflect and pray about the ramifications for current and future generations’ of the proposed changes…and then to sign the on-line survey.
Almost immediately there was a broad backlash, with one much quoted story doing the rounds about a mother crying in the pews as she thought about her gay son. Numerous clergy from a wide range of faith groups signed a statement in support of Marriage Equality, and there was a general sense that the letter was heavy-handed and did not reflect well on the church generally. It was hard not to see the Archbishops as overbearing and bullying and completely out of step with the beliefs of many ordinary parishioners.
Tony Abbot’s sister – Three nil to us
Well what a great gift that was! Tony Abbott’s sister, Christine Forster came out publically and announced her and her partner’s support for legal reform. She said they’d had some ‘spirited discussion’ at family functions; I bet they had!
The whole story has been given a huge spin to show Abbott as a kind and supportive brother who sticks by his principles, but ultimately the couples’ experience will only add to the increasing momentum for change.
Anyway, good on Christine and Virginia for taking a stand; it can’t have been easy. As one wag in a letter to The Age said: ‘Congratulations to Christine Forster on having the strength and courage to come out as Tony Abbott’s sister!’
And finally…
Last week I attended a forum at Joy Radio with a number of other people involved in the campaign for Marriage Equality. The show was hosted by Doug Pollard who does the Rainbow Report each week. It was a great programme covering the history of relationship recognition in Australia, the current campaign, and what the future might hold.
http://www.cpod.org.au/page.php?id=25&page_style=joy.css&no_brand=1
Check it out if you want to know a little more about all this.
And for all the parents out there, this one seemed appropriate for the end of the school holidays…
And something for the Archbishops…
Thanks for listening,
– Jacqui Tomlins
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